Love is a Choice and a Feeling
God’s love does change when a person becomes a believer, but it does not increase for some and not for others! We will see that there is a difference between the love God has for the believer and the unbeliever.
In John 3:16, God’s action to love (agapao ) everyone as a prize, and desiring them unconditionally.
Agapao love does not equate to happy. God is not happy with everyone, because not everyone is calling on His Son’s name.
God shows no impartiality in the magnitude of His unconditional agape love. He agape loves us all 100 per cent and you cannot get any more. Agape love is a dear love based on a decision of the mind. God must agape us. Agape love is God’s obligated demonstration of love to all mankind.
John 15:13 No one has greater love (agape) than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (MKJV)
Matthew 5:44 But I say to you, Love (agape) your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you, (MKJV)
Phileo in the Greek is to approve, like, sanction; to treat affectionately or kindly, to welcome, befriend and show signs of love. God is pure. If we believe in Jesus, God loves (phileo) Jesus (1 John 5:2) and us completely (John 16:27) and we are treated affectionately, romantically sanctioned.
John 16:27 for the Father Himself loves you, because you have loved Me and have believed that I came out from God. (MKJV)
In John 16:27 the Father’s love is “phileo” in Greek, which is a love with strong emotions, to treat affectionately. God phileo loves us tenderly, because we are committed disciples who love His Son (John 5:20; 11:3; 11:36; 12:25; 15:19; 20:2; 21:15-17).
1Corinthians 16:22 If anyone does not love (phileo) the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be accursed. The Lord comes! 23 May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you. 24 Let my love (agape) be with you all in Christ Jesus. Amen. (MKJV)
Revelation 3:19 As many as I love “phileo”, I rebuke and chasten; therefore be zealous and repent. (MKJV)
Unconditionally obligated, God (agapao) loves everyone in the world. God conditionally (phileo) affectionately loves the believer in reciprocation to the believer’s call for salvation in the name of Jesus. After our adoption by God to become His sons (teknon) by His faith, He then calls us philoteknon which is, dear intimate sons and friends. When we in obedience to His Word follow His direction, He is then well pleased (eudokeō) in us and then He officially grants us authorization by saying, “He is well pleased in us.”
It is the acts of agape love that we should show to the world, but it is by our free will in obedience to His Word, God will be (eudokeō) well pleased in us. He does not say I love you more.
We may grow in a phileo affectionate feeling love towards others we serve and fall deeper in love as time passes.
In John 3:16, God loves (agapao) everyone, but after we responded to His calling His love will change to the demonstrative love (phileo) (John 15:14) as we become His friends and sons (philos and teknon) simultaneously. When we are saved at that moment of our prayer of repentance and consecration at the Cross of Jesus we become His (philoteknos) loved sons. Nothing after our salvation can gain more agapao or phileo love from God. God may at times be well pleased (eudokeō) in His loved sons (philoteknos) as we walk obediently to His Word. We then embark as sons of God to minister to the whole world as special loved believers (1Peter 2:9) but not every believer fits into the five ministry gifts God gave to the Church.